How to Get Your Baby into a Routine
As mums we are constantly faced with a flurry of questions as soon as we have a baby:
‘Is she sleeping through the night?’
‘Is he feeding well?’
‘Is she a good baby?’
I always felt so awkward when people asked the last one because what they actually mean is ‘is your baby sleeping well?’ or ‘are they in a predictable routine?’ and what happens if they’re not (which mine never were)? Does that make them ‘bad’?
It’s just horrible to think of babies in that way. I believe ALL babies are good and it’s perfectly normal for a newborn and even older babies to wake in the night.
However, there often does come a point when you want some structure and predictability in your life. I’m guessing as you’re reading this post you’re a bit like me… I’m a primary school teacher as well as a sleep consultant and I like to be able to plan my days so having a flexible routine was something I was keen to establish.
Establishing a routine can seem like a mammoth task when you’re in those hazy, unpredictable newborn days. Emotions are everywhere and you are adapting to your new role of mum and trying to connect with your baby. Everything can feel totally overwhelming and like you will never feel like your former self again. However, you will and this post is going to help you take the first steps!
When is the best time to start a routine?
I’m often asked this question and honestly, it’s down to the individual. Some parents are keen to start a loose routine around 1-2 weeks old, others are happy to ‘go with the flow’ until their baby is much older. Personally, with my own children, I found that the 12 week mark was a great age to start implementing a routine. You are out of the 4th trimester and things start slotting in to place much easier around this age.
What can I do to start getting my baby into a routine?
There are a few simple things you can do to start getting into a routine. Here are my 3 Top Tips:
Implement a Bedtime (and Naptime) Routine
Babies and children learn best through repetition; through doing the same things over and over again. They also love predictability. It helps them to feels secure because they know what is coming next. You can read more about this in my recent blog post: Secure Attachment and Sleep Training
Setting up a bedtime routine where you do the same steps in the same order each night, not only allows your child time to wind down, but also the repetition triggers the little one’s brain into recognising that sleep is coming.
Our bedtime routine consists of a bath, a few minutes of baby massage, followed by a fresh nappy and pyjamas, milk and a short story. After that I dim the lights, put my baby into his sleeping bag, turn on the white noise, sing him ‘Twinkle, Twinkle’ whilst giving cuddles and kisses then put him into his cot. I then turn off the light completely and say our sleepy phrase ‘night, night, mummy loves you’.
Completing a chain of events like this tells your baby that it is time to sleep and they will naturally start to become drowsier. I’ve been doing this since my little one was 12 weeks old and within a couple of weeks he knew exactly what was coming so when he was put into his cot he would roll over and peacefully drift off to sleep. Don’t worry though if your little one takes a bit longer to adapt, they all learn at their own pace so there’s no need to panic if you don’t see results straight away.
Create the Perfect Sleep Environment
A baby or child’s environment is so important to their ability to fall asleep then have good quality, rejuvenating sleep. I believe there are 3 components that make up an ideal sleep environment for your little one:
- Darkness: Having the room completely pitch black can transform a baby’s sleep. Many parents worry that tiny babies might be scared of the dark, or that they are creating a crutch where their baby will only sleep in a dark space – but this is not true. Babies are used to being in the womb where it is dark. It makes them feel safe. It’s only when a child gets a little older that they may want the door left ajar or a small amber night-light in the room.
- Noise: Noise is a stimulant. It isn’t realistically possible to control all the sounds in and around our homes but there are ways to eliminate some noises. White noise can be used in your little ones room to help block out or mask some of the noises we can’t control. White noise benefits a child's sleep in many ways, including helping to reduce stress and avoid overstimulation, leading to a better quality of sleep.
- Temperature: Ideally the temperature in your baby’s room should be between 16-20°C. If it’s hard to regulate the room temperature then dressing your baby appropriately is the next best option. Sleep sacks are great as they come in many different togs. If the room is too hot or too cold your baby will find it harder to fall asleep and stay asleep because they will be wasting energy trying to regulate their temperature.
Watch the Wake Windows
A baby’s ‘wake window’ is the amount of time a baby spend awake between sleeps before he or she becomes overtired. It can be really useful to know your baby’s wake window because not all baby’s display sleep cues such as yswing and rubbing eyes until it’s too late! If a baby becomes overtired then it can be harder for them to settle or they may end up taking short cat naps due to a rise of cortisol in the body.
Below is a table which shows how long, approximately, a baby can stay awake before they become overtired. This will vary from baby to baby and will need to be gradually extended as your baby gets older. If you’d like a full version of my Baby Sleep Needs Chart then download my free guide: How to Help your Baby Sleep Through the Night.
So, what about timings?
If you are looking for a flexible routine for your little one which outlines ideal sleep and feeding times then you’re in luck - I’ve developed something that will be just the thing for you!
My ‘Baby Routines and Schedules’ eBook is full of further information and has routines from birth to 3 year old that have worked wonders with my 1:1 clients. They are all adaptable and will help you to create and implement flexible routines and habits that ensure long term sleep success.
As a ‘thank you’ I am also offering readers of my blog a 10% discount with the code: SECRET10.
I hope you enjoy it and do send me a message with any feedback - I love hearing how you are all doing!
Speak soon...
Do you want to create a flexible routine for your little one?
My handy guide outlines routines from birth to 3 years that can be adapted to suit your unique little one.
For 10% off: SECRET10