Networking Struggles for Introverts
By understanding why you struggle with networking, you can better explain it to those extroverts in your life. And, should you be inclined to make changes, realize why it’s happening and challenge yourself to make the effort.
Due to perfectionistic tendencies, introverts frequently don’t speak up, even when they have something to say, because they fear it will come out all wrong or will upset the listener.
You much prefer text or email because you can skip small-talk and those forms of communication are socially acceptable. But phone calls... not on your nelly!
You find you procrastinate making important phone calls or returning calls, even to those you love. You need to feel energized enough to be an enthusiastic participant, which can cause you to put off making calls, even if they are important.
Unless you’re talking about something you’re passionate about, you generally need to think before you speak. Because you need to have silence while you ponder, you find it challenging to participate in the conversation when there are comments and ideas flying everywhere. You may feel like you can’t gather your thoughts well enough to contribute.
When you have to be around a lot of people, especially if you don’t know them and for long periods of time, you feel exhausted quickly. One reason for this is because it involves a lot of small-talk, which just doesn’t come naturally. Putting out that much effort wears you out.
Attending industry conferences can be very draining for you. Having to potentially network every day for 2, 3 or more days is a challenge. Your need to recharge makes you miss some talks or networking portions of the event to ensure you’re up for the ones you really need to attend.
Working in groups can be even worse for an introvert than small-talk. When you must rely on others to communicate in ways that aren’t comfortable or understandable to you, it’s a real challenge to complete the project, especially when thrown together in a new group where you don’t know the members.
There’s also the issue of your perfectionism too. Because of your practice of thinking through every possible issue and solution, you are committed to only turning out perfection... but others in the group don’t often care as much about this as completion, or they have a very different perception of what “perfection” is.
Introverts often feel left out of a fast moving conversation, whether it’s at a party or a work conference. This often occurs because, by the time you determine what you want to say and the best way to say it, the group has moved onto a new topic. You can easily feel left out and lonely during these discussions - more so than if you were actually alone.
As an introvert, you are the absolute best at listening in a conversation and even in large group settings, if you’re having a one-to-one conversation, you shine. The person you’re having a conversation with thinks you’re great because they get to do a lot more talking.
You can be the King or Queen of networking. Just avoid the larger groups and you’ll be set!
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Steve Black
My passion is to help small businesses get access to the systems, tools and resources to help them get better referrals, better customers and have better businesses.
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