As a mom, there’s a unique heartache that comes with estrangement from your adult child. The sleepless nights, constant worry, and aching desire to mend the relationship can feel overwhelming. While the pain is undeniable, I want to ask you something: Are you holding on too tightly? Sometimes, in our efforts to hold everything together, we unintentionally create more hurt—for ourselves and our children.

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up. It’s about choosing peace over control and recognizing that healing is a journey, not an overnight fix. Let’s explore how you can begin to release expectations, set healthy boundaries, and trust a process that brings strength and healing.

1. Accept What You Can’t Control

As moms, it’s easy to feel like fixing everything—your child, the relationship, the family dynamic—is your responsibility. But the truth is, you cannot change another person, no matter how deeply you love them. Your child has their own life and their own choices to make.

The only thing you can truly control is how you respond and how you care for yourself. Shifting your focus from trying to “fix” your child to reclaiming your peace is essential. Invest your energy in healing, growth, and emotional stability. Redirecting your attention toward your own well-being gives you the strength to navigate this difficult season with clarity and resilience.

2. Grieve and Release Expectations

Estrangement is a form of emotional loss, and it’s vital to acknowledge that pain. Grieving doesn’t mean dwelling in sorrow—it’s about honoring the relationship as it was, both the good and the challenging parts.

Part of this process is releasing expectations. Maybe you envisioned your child returning on your timeline or meeting you halfway in mending the relationship. Letting go of those assumptions frees you from living in constant disappointment.

This doesn’t mean giving up hope. In fact, hope thrives best when we release the pressure to control outcomes. Acceptance allows you to live in the present moment and find peace where you are.

3. Prioritize Your Mental and Emotional Health

Taking care of your well-being is not selfish—it’s necessary for healing. Estrangement can be emotionally and physically draining, especially if interactions with your child are strained or painful. Setting boundaries protects your emotional space and allows you to focus on practices that restore your joy and energy.

Self-care can take many forms:

• Spending time with people who uplift you.
• Engaging in activities that bring you happiness.
• Establishing routines that promote stability.

Remember, prioritizing yourself is not abandoning your child. It’s equipping yourself with the strength needed to build a healthier, more balanced relationship in the future

4. Trust the Process

Letting go doesn’t mean you stop caring or lose hope for reconciliation. It’s about trusting that healing will unfold in its own time. For some, this faith is rooted in a higher power, while for others, it’s the belief in the natural progression of life.

Releasing control allows you to place the burden of worry where it belongs—outside of yourself. Trust that peace and healing are possible, regardless of the outcome. Healing begins with you, and it’s the first step toward reconciliation.

You are not alone. Take care of yourself—you’re worth it.