Day 1 - Partial Schedule

The Only Tool You Need to Thrive:
"Move Toward™" with Jenna

Have you ever noticed that "Moving Against" the parts of yourself (and others) that you don't like only makes things worse? "Moving Against" keeps us stuck in our grief, and prevents us from our best spiritual, emotional and sexual lives. Join Jenna in this lively and highly applicable session where she teaches us how to "Move Toward™" the hardest parts of ourselves so we can transform our grief into growth. You will leave this session with 3 words that will literally change your life.

She Exchanged Her Betrayal Trauma Baggage for a Clutch of Wisdom Gained and Forgave Herself*

While the loss of trust accompanying sexual betrayal causes a huge rupture in the relationship between the partner and the betrayer, often the biggest relationship rupture is the shattering of the partner's relationship with herself.

This loss of trust in herself, as well as her loss in her sense of who she is, often goes unaddressed as part of a partner's grief. In this talk, Laurie will discuss how understanding the process of grieving a betrayal is an important part of exchanging the emotional baggage of betrayal for a clutch of wisdom gained. By honoring their grief, partners can forgive themselves and embrace the women they were always meant to be.

*This title comes from the title of a painting by autistic artist Michael Tolleson

How Intimacy Clarifies Grief and Empowers Growth

Both the addict and the partner suffer from the loss of time, meaning, and clarity. Connecting together through pain, shame, and helplessness (vulnerability) enables them to recreate a shared story of suffering and recovering together. Learning to grieve one's own losses is critical for individual recovery; learning to grieve shared losses is critical to relational recovery.

When the addict, in particular, learns to walk through the partner's experience, there is an empathic exchange that creates a new story in the safety of being seen, heard, and felt. The grief is clarified in that the past takes on new meaning. Both the addict and the betrayed partner begin to view their history as a shared truth. As a result, they are empowered to experience growth toward an entirely new and different relationship that is healthy and life-giving.

Day 2 - Partial Schedule

Coming Out of Spiritual Trauma and Finding your Voice to Advocate for Change

Many of us have experienced Spiritual Trauma. From religious books to movies, conferences to sermons, as well as from well-meaning church members, damage has been done to our belief in God. Spiritual Trauma may have been caused by hearing teaching about religious beliefs like turning the other cheek or winning your unbelieving spouse by not uttering a word. By heeding this advice many have accepted abusive behavior for the “sake of the cross”.

Many mistruths about submission have caused women, in particular, to lose their voices when unacceptable behavior called for a firm boundary. Testimonies about “love abounding in all things” can send a message that any difficulty can be fixed with love and faith to men and women alike. All of these situations and others have caused many to lose their voice and their power. The first step in healing the trauma is realizing how it occurred and acknowledging the damage that has been done and then grieving it piece by piece. The traumatized must be healed in order to have a voice that can be heard and advocate for change. 

After this, the person can develop an empowered voice to make changes in our religious systems. One way the empowered grow is becoming educated on the topics involved. There is a difference between being overly emotional and being passionate about this topic. Acceptance and letting go of outcomes are growth tools to empower Beautiful Outlaws to send the message regardless of whether it lands or not.

After Betrayal: The Power of Asking for What You Need

When betrayal happens in a marriage, it can be difficult for the betrayed spouse to identify what they need from others and from their loved one; they know they just want the pain to stop.

In this talk, Dr. Steffens will cover how betrayed partners can identify and ask for what they need from those around them. Partners have the right to seek honesty, support, and care. Exercising this right helps build strength and resilience. It starts with knowing your value and worth and with a community to cheer you on!

Healing The Inner Child

Trauma interrupts emotional and/or sexual development, with the result that part of us never grew up (the "inner child"). Engaging the inner child with curiosity and compassion has an uncanny way of opening up tremendous space for transformation in recovering addicts and betrayed partners alike. Inner child work facilitates greater self-awareness, self-compassion, and self-regulation—accelerating the journey from grief to growth.

In this interview, Drew will share more about inner child work as a way of deepening the process of healing from trauma and addiction.

Day 3 - Partial Schedule

Working with Couples through Grief:
Another 3-Legged Stool!

Couples' recovery from addiction and betrayal is what Cat and her team at Naked Truth call a three-legged stool, 3 pieces coming together to create stability. Each person must do their own work, and that work must be used to create connection and transformation in the relationship. Working with couples through grief is one of the most important and painful parts of the relational recovery journey.

In this interview, Cat will answer questions and unpack the messy realities of grieving, both individually and together, and the costs and tragedies of couples' journeys. She will explore some of the reasons that this part of the journey can be such a challenge and some of the common pitfalls, offering practical steps and solutions as well as stories of recovery and hope.

Hope From The Trenches

For many partners, being thrown down the rabbit hole of recovery feels desperately lonely. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and hopeless when your life has been thrown upside down.

In this interview, Rosie pulls from her experience of working with women pre- and post-recovery and shares what steps you can take to make a difference in breaking the shame and isolation experienced by so many. She will also tackle the most common lies preventing partners from setting healthy boundaries and seeking the help they need and deserve. Finally, she will share what is inspiring a whole army of women to come forward and share their hope, strength and experience with a hurting world.

How to Have Fun Again After an Affair

Is it possible to have fun again after an affair? This interview will explore how couples can restore not only health to their marriage after an affair, but a reigniting of fun and passion.

Without making light of the difficulty of restoration after infidelity, Jonathan will provide a framework for hope that even after such betrayal and grief there can be even greater joy and intimacy in the healed parts of such a marriage.