Faye: A Client Case Study
22 November 2020 | Roni Davis
(stock photo used to protect client's privacy)
I originally met Faye a year or so ago when she messaged me about working with me. We popped on a quick call and as I heard her share some of her history, I knew instantly that I could help change everything for her. She seemed to agree but ultimately decided not to work with me at the time.
I heard from her again earlier this year when she was still considering working with me and this time, she decided to take the leap.
She’s made incredible progress in the months since we’ve been working together and I recently asked her to share a little more about her story. I wanted to find out how things changed for her, why she opted against it the first time we spoke, what finally helped her take the leap and what she would say to herself if she could go back to our first conversation or to someone else who may be on the fence.
Here’s what she said.
Me: Can you tell me about what life was like before E-CET?
Faye: I originally found you by accident in a Facebook group. Someone in the group randomly said something about how you were a miracle worker, so I checked out the link she shared and your work sounded really interesting. I was at a point where I knew I needed to change something because I didn’t feel great and had been bingeing in spurts. Before I got pregnant I was counting macros and I got down to almost my goal weight but after my pregnancy it all went off the rails. I was looking at a few different things to try to get it under control. I had also talked to a nutritionist but, I really clicked with you. Your self-punishment comments made me feel like I could breathe. It was such a relief to realize there was a reason - I wasn’t just out of control, there was a reason for the eating. But I was scared of commiting to the price so I went the route of the nutritionist. She was knowledgeable but predictably, unhelpful. I didn’t need more advice to choose whole grain rice over white, I knew what I was supposed to be eating. That wasn’t the problem. Then I tried this other thing, I bought a month of meal plans from a trainer and bikini competitor but predictably couldn’t stick with that either.
By then things had gotten really bad. I felt so out of control. I was eating in secret all the time… eating massive quantities of food, hiding in the car and everything. I just kept thinking if I could just get a meal plan, if someone would just tell me what I’m supposed to eat, that would fix it but it wasn’t fixing anything because it was always me just dealing with external things as much as I could by eating.
I was out of control, I felt terrible about myself, I thought I was never going to ever be able to just eat like a normal person, like the amount a normal person would. It was really so shameful. I don’t even think I admitted to my husband how bad it was at the time.
The whole time, I kept thinking about you and our conversation.
Me: What made you finally decide to take the leap?
Faye: Finally I just got to the point that nothing I had tried had worked and I knew I needed to do something. I needed something radically different. I tried everything else and I knew I had to do something so I thought, why don’t I just do the thing I wanted to do a year ago and just go for it? So that’s when I signed up.
Me: What would you say to yourself if you could go back to a year ago, when you knew you needed this but opted to continue for another year with the things you had been doing? Or what would you say to someone who's in that place right now?
Faye: If I could go back, I would have told myself to just do it the first time we talked. There’s this idea that we shouldn't spend money on things, on ourselves but when you spend money on your health it pays you back with interest. And I haven’t run the numbers on how much I’ve saved but I’m sure I’ve even made my money back just from how much I’ve saved on bakery trips alone.
The one thing I’d say to anyone who’s on the fence, considering it like I was a year ago, is just to listen to your gut. I should have listened to my gut… I knew when I talked to you that this is what I needed… I knew it. I should have listened to my gut because I knew. I felt at ease with you, I knew this would help and I should have listened to that. It’s scary to commit when nothing has worked but I knew this was what I needed. Anyone who talks to you would know that and they should listen to their gut. I never could have done this on my own.
"I just feel free. I feel so free. And I feel good and so happy to feel like I’m able to pass on better food habits to my son which is really so important to me too."
Me: Tell me about life now.
Faye: It’s interesting, I used to do a lot of stopping on my way to work to buy food and I haven’t wanted to do that. I just don't feel the need to do that anymore.
I used to stop at the bakery three times a week but I haven’t gone in months because I just don’t want to. And it’s really cool to sit down for a meal and stop before the food is gone because I’m just done eating. Like, I’m just done. I do have friends who don’t have issues around food and I was always so in awe of their ability to do that, I never thought I’d be able to and now here I am. That's just so cool.
Even just before we talked just now, I wanted to have these gummy candies I have in the cabinet from Trader Joes and I took out the bag and had some and then was just done before they were gone - before they were even gone! I never could have done that before, I would have eaten the entire thing. I also have had an exponential decrease in the amount of times that I do feel out of control and now even the few times that I do, I know exactly what the source is and know that I can figure out how to fix it from there, which is huge for me.
And what I like the most has been getting rid of the shame I felt around food. It’s been interesting to see how this has changed my mindset. I watch my mom and everyone around me, everything has so much embarrassment around food and how they eat. I don’t anymore. Now I just eat. So HUGE… it’s such a big, big, shift.
And my self-image has improved. I’m finding ways to be really proud of micro accomplishments, and reconnecting with how amazing bodies are has been a wonderful aspect. Recognizing how imperfectly perfect my body is … celebrating what it can do… I’m proud of it. That self-love component has been really nice.
I’ve also definitely been doing better at sitting with emotions. I used to eat them all. I’d stuff it all down with food but now it’s okay. Like this week, I took my son from daycare and I cried and then it was fine. Instead of feeling like I couldn’t cry, and stuffing it all, I let myself be sad which is huge because it diminishes its power. I’m acknowledging what I’m feeling and moving on instead of trying to not feel anything and shove it all in the corner. Dealing with the emotional side has made it so that I can deal with the emotions in another way.
This is the first thing that I’ve done that I haven’t felt like I’m holding on by fingertips just trying to make it to the end. I don’t have to suffer this out. I can just do this forever. It’s so freeing.
I just feel free. I feel so free. And I feel good and so happy to feel like I’m able to pass on better food habits to my son which is really so important to me too.
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