Hi! I'm Kevin Petersen MA, LMFT
Founder of The Chronic Hope Institute
I'm a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with offices in Colorado and Florida. I started The Chronic Hope Institute to help families that are sick and tired of being dominated by their loved one's addiction. I help them solve the problem with a clear and concise action plan through family addiction coaching.
If you've ever asked the question, "“What do we do with our family member whose drug use and drinking is out of control?” you are not alone.
I started The Chronic Hope Institute with the intention of offering my answer to that question—one I get almost every day.
You have a much greater chance for success if the whole family, not just the addict, is engaged in recovery. My plan is quick and to the point so we can triage the immediate problem. Then, only once we put the initial fire out, would we spend more time addressing the bigger issues.
It has been my experience that when a family comes into my office, they are looking for immediate impact and direction, not a philosophical or intellectual discussion. If you call the fire department because your house is engulfed in flames and they ask you how you feel about it instead of turning on their hoses, you would feel quite frustrated.
My approach is to turn on the hose first. I created a plan that puts out the fire and then (and only then) says, “Let’s talk about what we can do to make sure this does not happen again. We need to talk about the whole family.”
It’s about setting boundaries, setting expectations, and then saying, "If you need help, I’m here. In the meantime, I’m going to work on myself. We need to change this entire system.”
My clients hire me to be a family consultant. Just as a company often hires a consultant to fix its business when things are not going well, families hire me to change the system when their family unit isn’t functioning well. When you bring in a consultant, the first thing everyone at the company agrees on is that the business is failing.
Therefore, we have to change the way we do business. Firing the receptionist is not going to do it; everything has to change. Also, when your consultant is telling you that you will have to change the way the family does business or you'll go broke, please listen.
The definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over and expect a different result. Ignoring what I tell you means you're willing to let it happen again. I find this metaphor connects very well with families who are suffering because of addiction.
It’s not therapy-speak, it’s just the truth.
I hope you find this book helpful in your time of crisis. I know this plan is not for everyone but it worked for me in 1991 and continues to work for my clients today.
Sick and tired of your life being dominated by your loved one's addiction?