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Be True to Yourself
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I think that one of the most important things we can do for our mental health is be true to ourselves, which will result in our emotional healing. In my quest for spiritual growth, this is a topic that was brought to my attention loud and clear just over a year ago. I kept hearing the words, "Be true to yourself."
This might sound like a pie-in-the sky saying or even somewhat vague, but having spent the past year trying to do this, here are a couple of ways that I have learned to do just that.
I discovered that I am not being true to myself by pretending to be something to someone else just to make them happy or avoid hurting their feelings, and I'm certainly not being true to myself by living up to other people's "should's"...I "should" do this or I "should" do that. My mantra became, "Don't 'should' on me." Now, if someone starts a sentence by telling me that I "should" do this or that, I literally tune out the words that follow. I don't accept anyone "should-ing" on me. This is my life and in my life, I am the lead actor. Therefore, I write the script...no one else.
Now, I don't mean being judgmental and telling someone else everything that I believe is wrong with them or that I think they are not living the way they "should" or that they "should" change this or that about themselves. Not at all. What I mean is letting someone know when they cross a boundary that I have established in order to keep myself healthy, and I will communicate that fact to the other person with love and kindness when they cross that boundary. Being nice doesn't mean being a door mat and it's never okay for someone to treat me disrespectfully, especially if it's not followed up with an apology (which I then revert to my first point above, making a conscious choice about who I choose to be in any kind of a relationship with).
First, I believe being true to myself means being in relationships with people that I WANT to be in a relationship with versus relationships that are maybe hanging around from the past, but no longer add to my life, or relationships that do nothing more than fill up empty space or keep me stagnant or even drag me down energetically (can you say energetic "vampires"?). And, yes, these relationships include family relationships. Sure, you may not be able to distance myself from every family member to the point that you never see them again, but you can energetically sever the ties between you and that other person. (I teach people how they can do this -- and it really works, as I learned from personal experience.)
Another thing that I think being true to myself means is speaking my truth...in love...but, yes, still speaking my truth. I believe this is crucial and allows me to be true to my heart. It may (or may not) hurt the other person's feelings, but if I say my truth in love and with kindness, it is not my responsibility how it affects the other person or how they react -- not even if the other person tries to make it my responsibility. I am responsible for my thoughts, words and actions (and reactions), not theirs; they are.
Like rocks, people bump and rub against each other, and in this way we sharpen each other. Yes, some bumps hurt us a little more than others, but life is full of bumps...that's what we signed up for when we came to this school called Earth. We came here to learn and grow. I mean, think about it...how much could we grow in total isolation? We wouldn't. We need others to bump up against us to help smooth out some sides, while sharpening others. So obviously we can't just go around cutting everyone out of our lives just because we happen to bump up against them every once in a while, but I think that taking a conscious look at exactly who is in our lives now and who we allow to enter our lives on an ongoing basis is a way we can be true to ourselves, to our values, to the person we are now and the person we want to become.
Life is all about choices...and I choose to give myself love and respect by being true to myself.
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Before beginning any new treatment or program, you are advised to consult a medical professional, as I am not one. I do not diagnose medical conditions, nor prescribe or advocate any medications, procedures, herbs or supplements. I am not a licensed therapist.