I was in an extremely difficult marriage for 14 years. That, and raising four little kids with basically no help added so much stress to my life!
I wanted to be a good wife and a good mother, and I gave every part of myself to do that to the best of my ability.
I was also experiencing severe fatigue, but by the time bedtime rolled around I couldn't turn my brain off and fall asleep.
I got migraines a few times a week, and nothing natural made them go away. I would end up taking otc meds even though I didn't want to because I HAD to function!
I had to pee constantly, especially when I was extra stressed. I had so much anxiety, and started having panic attacks in the middle of the night.
I had gone up 3 sizes, and I couldn't understand because if anything I was eating way LESS than I needed. I would wake up to my stomach super bloated for no apparent reason.
I had reflux, too. Mine showed up as constant clearing of the throat or coughing, not so much heartburn.
Every day felt so overwhelming, and I just did what I could to get through it. That usually included 3-4 cups of coffee.
When my fourth baby was around a year old, I knew I had to change something, or I would end up in a very bad place.
I felt guilty all of the time.
Guilty for feeling the need for a break. Guilty for our circumstances. Guilty I wasn't able to enjoy motherhood like I "should". And I LOVED being a mom (still do). But where was my JOY?
It took a near crash to start listening to my body.
Over the course of the next weeks, I implemented small changes in how
I cared for myself, how I ate, what I put into my body, and I started a simple practice of daily Quiet Time.
It was shocking to me that I almost immediately
started functioning better. Gradually, I learned more and more how to
care for myself without sacrificing my family or my nutrition needs. I learned about toxic behaviors, toxins in my food and toxins in my environment (all which were making me feel worse). I learned about healthy boundaries.
I started sleeping again, my panic attacks went away, headaches lessened, and I felt more joy and less guilt as a mother. My clothes
started fitting better, even though I was actually eating more. I stopped
being in fight or flight mode all the time.
After all these changes, I grew strong enough to set the final boundary and leave my marriage.
After all of this, I decided to become a Nutritional Therapy Practitioner to help other stressed mamas overcome debilitating chronic symptoms due to stress and lack of boundaries. I now help other women find the joy in motherhood and get out of survival mode.
While the trauma I experienced contributed greatly to my near
downfall, my story of healing and growth has led me here.
I am thankful that God can bring beauty out of ashes, and that I can now help other women do the same.