Is your adult child giving you the silent treatment, withdrawing emotionally, or shutting down conversations? If you’re feeling shut out, you may be dealing with stonewalling—a toxic communication pattern that can leave you feeling powerless and disconnected.

In this post, we’ll explore:

• What stonewalling is and when it crosses the line
• Its emotional impact on you as a mom
• Whether it can be considered emotional abuse
• Practical steps to respond and protect your well-being

What Is Stonewalling, and When Does It Cross the Line?

Stonewalling occurs when someone shuts down emotionally or physically during a conversation to avoid further interaction. It can manifest as:

• Refusing to engage
• Withdrawing from conversations
• Giving the silent treatment

While everyone may withdraw occasionally to avoid conflict, stonewalling becomes problematic when it’s a repeated pattern. When used consistently, it creates emotional limbo and can even be a way to exert control or punish someone. Over time, this behavior erodes trust and damages emotional connections, making it harder to foster meaningful dialogue.

The Emotional Impact of Stonewalling

If you’re on the receiving end of stonewalling, you’re likely feeling ignored, unimportant, or dismissed. As a mom, this can be deeply hurtful, leading to:

• Isolation
• Frustration
• Powerlessness

Stonewalling within the parent-child relationship can intensify feelings of disconnection and amplify existing issues. Over time, it can lead to resentment or even long-term estrangement. You may also experience anxiety, self-doubt, or depression from the lack of resolution and emotional distance.

Can Stonewalling Be Considered Emotional Abuse?

Not all stonewalling is abusive. Sometimes, people withdraw because they feel overwhelmed or don’t know how to respond in the moment. However, it crosses into emotional abuse when:

• It’s used repeatedly as a tool for control or manipulation.
• The intent is to punish or avoid accountability.

When stonewalling becomes a consistent tactic with harmful intent, it’s emotionally distressing and can feel like abuse. The distinction lies in the intent and frequency of the behavior—is it a momentary reaction or part of a broader pattern of emotional control?

Healthy Ways to Respond to Stonewalling

If you’re experiencing stonewalling, it’s essential to protect your emotional well-being and approach the situation with a balanced perspective. Here are some strategies:

• Recognize It May Not Be About You
  While you’re on the receiving end, your child’s behavior may stem from their own emotional struggles or inability to cope. Understanding this can help you depersonalize the situation.

• Seek Support
  Connect with a community or support group to help you process the emotional fallout and gain perspective. Having a tribe to lean on can make a significant difference.

• Approach With Empathy
  If the opportunity arises, try to reopen communication with empathy. Express your willingness to listen when your child is ready to talk. Acknowledging their potential overwhelm can foster understanding.

• Set Boundaries
  Protect yourself by setting clear emotional boundaries. Recognize when it’s time to step back and focus on your own well-being.

• Consider Professional Guidance
  If you’re feeling stuck, seeking one-on-one or group coaching can provide clarity and actionable steps to navigate this challenging dynamic.

Stonewalling is a challenging and painful experience, especially in a parent-child relationship. However, by understanding its dynamics, recognizing its impact, and taking proactive steps, you can begin to navigate the silence and foster healthier communication.

Remember, you don't have to face this alone.