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Katie Flahive
Registered Nurse
HealthPartners
Industry - Healthcare
A Little Bit About Our Family
My husband, Brendan, and I have been married for 18 years. He works for 3M and travels internationally. We have three children - our oldest is Reardon, age 15, and our twin girls, Rylan and Julia, are 12 years old. I worked full-time in our early years of marriage. When we started having kids, Brendan’s travel increased quite a bit so I decided to work part-time. I have always worked in a critical care unit at a hospital. I have worked all shifts in my career, including night shift, which has been tricky at times with 3 active sport kids and a traveling husband. I played college soccer and the biggest takeaways from that experience were problem solving and time management skills. These skills helped me when the kids were super little.
I am honored to say that I am a 24-year seasoned ICU RN. However, after these past two years working in a Covid ICU, I found myself questioning if I could continue in my role. My emotional and physical well-being were being impacted and I was bringing the sadness home, which affected my overall happiness. That is when I reexamined myself and what I needed.
A Lot Can Change Over Time
The last couple of years have been extremely rewarding and, at times, excruciatingly difficult and sad. My role shifted from part-time working mom to working more than usual in a Covid ICU. My husband stopped traveling and started working from home and the kids were home most of the time. So, all of our roles shifted slightly and we became a team. We all shared in the responsibilities at home while I was working more during the pandemic. Between the Zoom meetings that my husband was running and the kids' virtual learning, it was never boring! All of us managed to find what we needed and honestly enjoyed our time together.
I am honored to say that I am a 24-year seasoned ICU RN. However, after these past two years working in a Covid ICU, I found myself questioning if I could continue in my role. My emotional and physical well-being were being impacted and I was bringing the sadness home, which affected my overall happiness. That is when I reexamined myself and what I needed. I started looking for a different role in nursing which was new and different but very scary as well. I do not think I could have done it without the support of my husband and kids. There was so much unknown, “Would I like it? Would I regret my choice to leave the ICU? Would I still feel rewarded?” Recently, I took a new RN role in a surgical recovery PACU and have been cross-trained in the Endoscopy area as well. It has been fun, scary and a little humbling to be the new guy learning new skills at my age. This has all been such a journey for me and a lot of soul-searching about what I needed and what would make me happy. Moms don’t do that enough.
Why do we put that unnecessary pressure on ourselves as Moms? The stressful times are always relieved through organization of schedules, lists and finding other Moms like me who have kids and are juggling it all.
Balancing Career and Motherhood
I always felt blessed to participate in both Mom worlds - working and staying home part-time too. That balance gave me the perspective that many Moms don’t have the opportunity to have during their career. It was hard at times when I didn’t feel like I belonged to either “team”. Sometimes it felt hard to connect to full-time working Moms or even full-time stay-at-home Moms since I did a little of both. And I think it was hard for both groups to see me as “on their team”.
Motherhood can feel isolating and sometimes I questioned if I was doing enough. I compared myself to other Moms that seemed to just have it all together. Why do we put that unnecessary pressure on ourselves as Moms? The stressful times are always relieved through organization of schedules, lists and finding other Moms like me who have kids and are juggling it all. I tend to gravitate to the real Moms who don’t fake it. It is ok to say, “I am having a really hard day, this is not easy”. It does take a village, so I try to surround myself with wonderful women and families.
Looking Forward
I am happy and healthy and have started to learn again which has invigorated me personally and professionally. As my kids get older, the conversations get deeper and the teaching becomes more important, which is probably our biggest focus these days. Our little people are growing up before our eyes which is awesome to watch. The years are going by fast and being present and enjoying the moments is the goal.
Final Thoughts
I wish I would have had access to these tools, resources and community from the start of my career. It would have helped me along the way if I was given advice on how to simply take time for myself and to listen to my gut when it was telling me that I needed to step away and take a break. It would have been nice to hear that it is OK to make mistakes and learn from them. That would have helped me to do better the next time if given the same opportunity.
Mom Mastermind offers these tools that guide women and help them navigate their lives, professionally and personally, in a structured process that leads to overall quality of life improvement. In closing, I am grateful to know a community of women who support me and I am most thankful for the advice and encouragement that they provide me, and, of course, the carpools help too!
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