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THE MODERN HEALTH LETTER
YOU HAVE TO EMBRACE EVIL.
if you want to find inner peace.
Reading time : 8 MINUTES
I’ve spent a lot of time exploring the darkest parts of myself.
This might sound counter-intuitive, but getting to know the most terrifying parts of who I am, brought me the ultimate level of peace.
In this letter, I will teach you why the parts you keep numbing, avoiding and running away from, hold the key to the future you truly deserve.
Coping instead of feeling.
Have you ever wondered why we spend years learning complex mathematic formulas or classical literature in school but never get taught how to regulate our emotions or build healthy relationships?
Most of us get thrown into adult life and big responsibilities without awareness of who we are, what we need and why we do what we do.
Most of us are not equipped with the knowledge, confidence and tools to build and create a good life for ourselves.
So we live one day after the other.
Hoping for a better future, better relationships, better health, more income, but we don’t have the awareness of the person we have to become to give ourselves the life we deserve.
We all can feel underlying emotions of anger, stress, resentment, shame, despair or powerlessness but only allow them to rise up when there is no other way to hold them back.
These emotions become panic attacks, anger outbursts, emotional overwhelm or breakdowns, constant frustration or even physical diseases.
If you haven’t started your journey towards getting to know yourself, you most likely adopted the emotional strategies that were employed by your family as you grew up.
Take a couple of minutes to revisit the way your mum and dad used to deal with their anger, stress and their shame when you were a child.
- Did mum or dad shut down and isolate themselves?
- Did mum or dad brush it off and act like nothing happened?
- Did mum or dad release their anger and heavy emotions against each other, towards you or someone else?
- Did mum or dad hold space for each other and yourself when these challenging emotions rose up?
And then, take a close look at yourself.
Reconnect with the last time you have felt the emotion of anger, stress, anxiety or shame and observe your reaction towards it.
- Did you run away from it?
- Did you minimise and quickly forget about it?
- Did you feel into it?
Most of us do not know how to hold space for how we feel. In this letter we explore why and how feeling our emotions is the only path to abundance and health.
Today’s letter is not about learning to feel these heavy emotions.
It’s about recognising the evil that lies inside of all of us.
To then not destroy or harm yourself or the world.
But harness these parts of you to access the life you desire.
How the external world reflects our internal state
When we look at the world, it’s easy to acknowledge and accept the violence, pain and torment that humans cause each other.
- Wars
- Slavery
- Exploitation
- Manipulation
- Lies and deceit
- Mental and physical abuse of all kinds
We question humanity and wonder how can we possibly be capable of such terror.
Not realising that holding that belief is exactly what prevents you from seeing that the people who create all that evil, are no different than you.
Our weekly explorations together have taught us whatever we deny, suppress or disown doesn’t just disappear.
It rises up and gets expressed in very unconscious ways instead.
When we grow up, we all go through a conditioning process from our parents and society that teaches us what parts of ourselves we should put forward and highlight and which parts and emotions we should reject and push away.
If you have been punished or shamed for expressing your anger (which is a normal and valid emotion to feel as a human) as a child, you taught yourself to repress and disconnect from that emotion.
This mechanism doesn’t prevent the emotion from happening.
It just blinds you from seeing it happen.
Suddenly, you :
- start to become passive-aggressive
- turn towards food, a cigarette or social media
- start criticising yourself and putting yourself down
instead of allowing the anger to fully come up, be expressed and used in an empowering way.
We do not realise that the way most of us have been conditioned is actually very dangerous.
Our self-worth is tightly attached to trying to do good and be good all the time.
This leaves us with two options:
- We become completely unaware of the evil we do every day
- We shame ourselves for the evil we all carry inside of us
You might have never killed anyone, but you surely lied, manipulated or been deceitful.
And I am not here to judge you, I am here to make you see that evil is part of our human experience and if you are ready to be fully honest with yourself, it might even be part of your everyday life.
In last week’s letter, I introduced you to the process of integration.
A process that I teach and work with through the services I offer and that is fundamental to becoming a conscious and actualized person.
Integration allows us to hold all of the emotions of our human experience without being attached to them.
That level of detachment is free of judgment, leads us to see the world as it is and accept humans for who they are.
And because we can see evil and recognise it within ourselves, we are able to understand and be more compassionate for the people around us and the rest of the world.
This is usually the place where deep healing and forgiveness happen. In an effortless and natural way, but this will be a topic for another letter.
How to use evil for good
You are not a bad person for feeling hatred, anger, shame, fear or anxiety.
All these emotions are completely valid because they stem from pain.
We all have been hurt and have consciously or unconsciously, hurt someone else.
Judging ourselves and each other for these emotions will only continue to fuel the pain most of us are in, which then fuels evil to be acted out in subtle ways all around us.
There is a difference between your ability to hold space for the hurt and painful parts of you (recognising evil inside of you) and deciding to act on it.
I am not telling you to act as a bad person and to purposefully cause harm to the world.
I am inviting you to deeply feel into the darkest parts of yourself and to accept to see what they are capable of, instead of convincing yourself that you are only capable of being and doing good.
The dark parts of you hold a lot of power.
If you are disconnected and unaware of that power, you will unconsciously use it for harm and destruction.
If you find the courage to explore that power, you will consciously be able to use it for healing and creation.
You hold the power to choose.
This is when choosing the light after exploring and seeing what the darkest parts of you are capable of, becomes the ultimate act of good.
I will see you in the next letter,
Take care,
Oli
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