Naps: All You Need To Know
For the last 3 years naps have been the bain of my life… whether it be hearing that cry signalling the nap is over after only 30 minutes to wondering how on earth I’m going to plan a trip when my baby will only nap in his cot… in the dark. And just when you think you’ve got naps sorted your baby does something unexpected and naps go completely out of the window again!
Naps can be a minefield but I want to take some of the guesswork away from you and help you to navigate them successfully, without that feeling of anxiety that naps often bring.
We all know the sleep is so important. It helps our bodies to rejuvenate, restore and refresh. Sleep brings so many benefits to both our physical and mental well-being and if we don’t get enough the repercussions can be devastating.
For little ones it’s absolutely essential that they get adequate deep, restorative sleep so that they are able to develop and grow into happy, healthy children. For me it was knowing this that made me so worried when my child wouldn't nap as I had expected. After all we all want the best for our children don't we?
It is vital that babies and young children get the appropriate amount of daytime sleep in order to sleep soundly at night. If not they will become overtired which can lead to unsettled nights, increased night waking and early rising (which I think you’ll agree, we want to avoid at all costs!)
But how can you ensure your baby takes deep, restorative naps?
Naps can be tough and constantly tweaking them to suit baby’s needs can be exhausting, especially when nap time is often the only ‘break’ tired parents get.
In this post you will find out about:
- The importance of wake windows
- Nap expectations by age and transitions
- Dropping the nap
- What to do if your child takes a short nap or misses a nap
- Nap anxiety (something that I really suffer with, even now!).
Wake Windows: What’s it all about?
Currently I’m sat typing and my 11 month old is refusing to nap. Ironic, I know. Previously he has been able to stay awake happily for 3 hours between naps. This is called his ‘wake window’; the time spent awake between sleeps. However, I suspect he probably can go a bit longer now. Working out how long is the tricky part though! Let me explain…
Below you’ll find a table that shows how long, approximately, a baby can stay awake before they’ll start getting overtired. It’s important to emphasise that this is just an average and will vary slightly from baby to baby. For a full version of the Baby Sleep Needs Chart, download my free ebook 'How to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night'.
Some parents like to judge how tired their baby is based on their sleepy cues, so when they start displaying signs of tiredness such as having a glazed expression, rubbing eyes, yawning and becoming grizzly, the parent puts them down for a nap. The problem is not all babies display these signs, particularly alert-types. Often when we see these signs it’s too late and actually baby is already overtired and will undoubtedly be more difficult to settle. This is why it’s good to be aware of your child’s wake windows and get them ready to nap just before the tiredness kicks in. You’re likely to have a baby who drifts of peacefully and naps for longer if you can catch them at just the right time.
The other thing to bear in mind is that as babies grow they are able to stay awake for longer and wake windows need to be adjusted. This is the difficult part. I suggest trying just giving your baby 5-10 minutes of extra awake time each day to see if that has any affect on their ability to settle.
Nap Expectations
Remember these expectations are just a guide and are what suits most babies, not all. So if your baby isn’t following these guidelines exactly, don’t be dismayed. If your baby is happy and you’re both getting enough sleep then nothing needs to change.
0-4 months
During the 4th trimester baby sleep is very disorganised and can be erratic. Newborns can’t stay awake for more than around 45-60 minutes without getting overtired. This will increase to around 90 minutes by the time a baby is 3 months old. It may seem like an endless cycle of feeding, burping and trying to get baby to sleep, which I know, is exhausting. Be kind to yourself and get rest when you can.
It is completely normal for your baby to want to sleep in the comfort and warmth of your arms. Cuddling your newborn for naps will not create bad habits and it is developmentally normal for them to require parental help in order to be able get to sleep and stay asleep. It is also normal for naps to be short at this stage and there may be as many as 5-6 naps per day. The length of your newborn’s nap is not as important as ensuring wake windows aren’t too long. Often tiny babies cry and will not settle simply because they are so overtired. This can often be confused with colic.
If you do want to practice putting your little one down awake then the best thing to do is try once a day, during the first nap of the day. This is when baby will still have some build-up of sleep residue left from night time so it will be easier for them to settle peacefully. Try getting your baby to a stage where she is very nearly asleep and see if you can put her down with your arms still around her while she spends those final moments drifting off in her sleep space. If she wakes straight up when your arms are removed (which let’s face it, happens often) then don’t despair, leave her for a minute or so, even if she’s fussing a bit. She may just surprise you and nod off. If not, that’s ok. Try again the next day. The more exposure to her own sleep space she has, the more comfortable your baby will feel when it is time to sleep in there. It’s all about practice at this stage.
For more information about newborn sleep visit my blog post: 5 Truths About Sleep in the 4th Trimester
5-8 months
Around 5 months most little ones can stay awake for 2 hours between naps and ideally would have around 3.5 hours of daytime sleep. It is at this age that a three nap schedule naturally forms. This usually consists of two longer naps in the morning and around lunchtime and a third shorter catnap in the afternoon. The afternoon nap is usually the most challenging one and often parents have to resort to putting baby into the sling, pram or car for a motion nap. A short 15 or 20 minute nap to ensure baby gets some sleep between the lunch nap and bedtime is much better than allowing baby to become overtired as it’s likely that bedtime will become a battle and you may experience increased night waking.
At around 8 months of age your baby may start fighting the third nap, or you may find they can stay awake longer between naps and so you just simply can’t fit in the last nap any more. This is usually quite a smooth transition into a 2 nap schedule. If you find your baby won’t take the third nap but the wake window between the second nap and bedtime is too long then consider a temporary earlier bedtime until they can deal with a longer wake window.
Sometimes naps and night sleep at this age can be disrupted by what is often referred to as the ‘8 month sleep regression’. Read more about this in my recent blog post.
9-12 months
By now your baby will probably be on a solid 2 nap schedule. Wake windows for this age are usually around 3 hours and total day sleep is around 3 hours also (an easy one to remember!). It’s best if the nap lengths are equal and ideally they would fall around 9:30am and 1:30pm depending on what time your child has risen in the morning.
12-18 months
Little ones usually transition to a 1 nap schedule somewhere between 13-17 months. This can be a tricky transition and you may feel like no two days are ever the same while the transition is happening. Some days your baby might take one nap, some days they might need two. Here are some of the signs that your baby may be ready to start making the transition:
As baby’s ability to stay awake longer between sleeps develops, the morning nap will be pushed later and later. This might mean that you simply cannot fit in the second nap before bedtime or the second nap turns into a short cat nap.
Another possibility is that your baby may start to refuse one of the naps. It may become difficult to put him down as he refuses to go to sleep. If this happens consistently and not just for a couple of days then it could be an indication that baby is ready to move to one nap.
So what are the options whilst transitioning?
- Have a long morning nap and a short cat nap for the second nap
- Limit the morning nap to 30 minutes so that your baby will have a longer nap in the afternoon
- Simply have one nap and an earlier bedtime until baby gets used to their new schedule
Ideally, if on one nap, this should be around 12-12:30pm to ensure the day is balanced and your baby doesn’t become overtired. It should last around 2.5 hours.
18 months – 3 years
At 2 years old a baby will still need around 2 hours of day sleep per day. By age 3 this will have dropped nearer to 1.5 hours or less. It’s really common for children around age 2 to start refusing to nap simply because they don’t want to go to sleep. After all it’s much more fun being downstairs playing! However, they do still need their sleep.
If your child does refuse to nap earlier than age 3 then still give them some quiet time in their room for an hour or so each day. If you persist then your child will realise that he may as well go to sleep as he’s up in his cot anyway!
Dropping the Nap
If you find that bedtime is becoming a battle because your little one has had too much sleep during the day then the best thing to do is reduce the nap length slowly until you find the perfect length for your child. It’s better to reduce than eliminate the nap altogether!
What if my baby takes a short nap?
If your baby wakes up crying from a nap or is older than 5 months and the nap is 30 minutes or less, you can generally assume that baby has not had enough sleep. If this happens then the reason could be down to overtiredness. It is worth trying to extend the nap by treating it like a night waking. Keep the room dark and use whichever method you would use during the night to try and resettle your baby.
A nap extension is not easy to achieve and some babies just will not do it. However it’s worth trying to extend the nap for up to 40 minutes if possible, as this is how long it can take for a baby to resettle. If you are consistent and persist with the resettle and start to achieve nap extensions then it will be worth it. Your little one will soon realise what is happening and will start to lengthen their naps themselves.
What if my baby refuses to nap?
If your baby refuses to nap at all, as let’s be honest, they all go through this at some point, it could be down to many reasons. Perhaps baby is over or under tired and wake windows need to be adjusted. Perhaps baby just isn’t feeling great or the temperature isn’t quite right. The list of possibilities is endless.
Whatever the reason there are some things you can do:
- Ensure you are doing a mini-bedtime routine before a nap (change nappy, story/song, into sleeping bag) so baby recognises the signs that it’s time to sleep prior to the nap.
- Try the nap resettle as described above.
- Get baby up and try playing with them for 20 minutes then try the nap again.
- Do an early bedtime. Anything up to 1 hour early, if only on the odd occasion, will not affect the morning wake up.
- Don’t panic! It happens to everyone and you will get back on track!
Nap Anxiety
My chest is tightening, I cant concentrate, I can feel the tension building... why?
My baby is refusing to nap.
I’m sure most mum’s have felt this. Pre-children many parents say that the baby will have to fit in around them but actually when baby arrives they end up planning their day around baby’s naps.
As a sleep consultant nap anxiety still gets to me now. When my little one won’t nap I find it really hard to concentrate on anything else. I literally CANNOT relax until he’s asleep and the longer he doesn’t sleep for the more panicked I get. Nap anxiety is real and I’ve had countless anxious parents message me all feeling stressed and worried about their child’s naps. From babies refusing naps, to mums who are worried about going out for the day because their baby might not nap as well as they do at home (I’ve certainly been there). But please don’t let baby’s naps stop you from enjoying yourself, particularly with the end of lockdown possibly in sight! Yes, your baby’s sleep is important and she needs to nap, but if there is one missed nap or one day of disturbed or shorter naps try not to worry about it. The likelihood is things will be fine and you can get back on track the next day.
For me, before I was a sleep consultant I would get a bit obsessed over when my children had to nap. I used various apps to track their naps and although nap trackers can be useful, I also think for someone who is anxious about naps or worried when things don’t go to plan, they can be a hinderance. Deleting the apps was actually the a breath of fresh air. I no longer got stressed if my baby had a tiny bit less sleep one day or didn’t meet the suggested quota of total day sleep. And do you know what? My baby was happy and healthy and absolutely fine.
When you have a baby not all days are the same. All babies are different and unique, it’s what makes them so special.
If you would like some advice with naps or any other aspects of your little ones sleep then do get in touch. We can discuss your little ones sleep issues and I can tell you more about how I can help. You can also view my live video all about this topic in my Facebook Page by clicking here.
I hope to hear from you soon.
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