First, I'll say this:
I'm really good at what I do.
But I know that doesn't magically dissolve your worries about being scammed, especially by the coaching industry. So let's unpack it!
The fact of the matter is -- there are scammers in every industry, and there are people who are just plain bad at their job in every industry (including therapy), which is why it's so important to use your discernment when investing in yourself or professional services. Just because someone has really good marketing or a long list of clients raving about their work, doesn't mean they are the right coach for YOU.
Here are the top 3 ways you can tell whether a coach is a good fit...
#1: The Sales Process:
- Do they take time to get to know you, or do they only focus on making the sale?
- Do you feel like your autonomy is respected, or does the coach act like they know more about what you need than you do?
- Do they understand your vision and goals, or do they just want you to fit into their cookie-cutter approach?
- Do they empower you to make the best decision for you, or are they rushing you to say yes before you have a chance to think?
Feeling like you got tricked into joining a coaching program is an awful feeling (speaking from experience), which is why I take my sales process so seriously.
I require both an application and a 50-minute clarity call with every potential client because I need to make sure you are a good fit and that I can actually help you, otherwise it will be a bad experience for both of us.
I take pride in the fact that I'll never rush you to make a decision or project what I want onto you. Instead, I'll ask how I can support you and gently hold you accountable to how you say you want to show up in the world. Alignment coaching only works if I'm equally as invested in YOUR vision as you are, even if that vision changes as we work together.
I'm a firm believer that you are the only person who knows what you need, even if you were taught to doubt your judgment and intuition. My job is to help you reconnect to that intuition and become the leader of your own healing journey.
#2: Conflict Resolution: How do they handle unhappy clients?
I don't know a single coach who hasn't made mistakes and unintentionally caused harm. It's inevitable. That's why it's more important to look at how they respond to conflict & whether or not they take accountability as indicators of their integrity.
This is my approach --
While it doesn't happen as often anymore, I've made plenty of mistakes over the years, like saying yes to a client I should have said no to, or sacrificing my boundaries because I'm scared of how they might react.
Regardless of the situation, I always follow the same protocol for conflict resolution.
- First, I make sure that my clients know they can (and should) come to me as soon as they have a problem to avoid resentment.
- Once a client has expressed dissatisfaction, I resist any urge to react or try to control the situation, choosing to thank them instead and then book a call for us to talk the following week.
- In that gap, I review the client's concerns, process any emotions or defensiveness that came up, and then get honest with myself about my responsibility and role, without taking over-responsibility. I see the coach-client relationship as a powerful mirror that shows me where I need to heal another layer of people-pleasing, over-giving, scarcity, or unworthiness.
- When we finally talk face-to-face, I set aside my ego and take the lead by acknowledging their concerns and immediately taking responsibility for my role. I also make sure the client feels safe to be completely honest with me without worrying about my feelings or reactions. Once we are both clear on what happened, we then work together to find a solution that feels fair to both of us.
Not only does this process help clients feel heard in their frustrations and safe enough to advocate for their needs, but it also makes me a better coach and establishes even more trust for us to keep working together.
Which is why I always tell clients -- I may not always be a perfect coach, but I can promise to always acknowledge when I've dropped the ball and lead with integrity.
#3: How much time do you get to spend with the coach?
This is the number one way to avoid wasting money on programs that don't get you the results you want.
When first looking for a coach, many people either gravitate towards lower-cost programs, or mid-level programs run by extremely well-known coaches in an effort to save money and reduce the risk of failure. This is the perfect example of why making decisions from fear will almost always create the exact result you're afraid of.
On average, courses and lower-cost programs are only effective for a specific type of person who is extremely self-motivated and learns best on their own. It's easy to get caught in a pattern of buying multiple $500 and $1K offers, instead of just investing in a 1:1 coach from the start.
But what about investing in mid-price programs ($1K - $5K, or even higher) run by well-known coaches with years of experience and proof that their program works?
This is where the question of, "how much time do you actually get with the coach?" comes into play. The most well-known, successful coaches in the industry will often have multiple layers of separation between you and them, focusing on scaling their programs above all else.
This isn't necessarily a bad thing, though. You can get a lot out of being in these big groups and working with the assistant coaches. At the beginning of my career, I loved joining large, mid-price programs purely because I wanted to make friends.
But if you go into it thinking you're going to get all this support and attention from the coach, only to realize it's basically a glorified course with Q&A calls, you're bound to be disappointed.
In my opinion, the best way to make sure you actually get the results and support you want from coaching is to invest in a 1:1 coach from the start.
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I know how scary it is to invest in your growth, especially if you're not used to asking for help or spending money on yourself in this way, so I hope this helps you make the best decision for you.