''I'm doing the best I can'' 

⠀
Loving boundaries are when parents are clear on their values and will protect those values even in the face of their child’s discomfort or disappointment. ⠀
⠀
They want another show, you can see they are already becoming dysregulated. We respond with a loving, “no.” ⠀
⠀
Your child is NOT likely to say, “Oh mom, thanks so much for holding boundaries and keeping me safe!”⠀
⠀
The most likely thing is they’ll say, “Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!” ⠀
⠀
To which we can respond, “It’s understandable you feel disappointed, my job is to keep you safe, you are allowed to have feelings about it.”⠀
⠀
Then next thing is again, not a child who is calm, quiet or welcoming to your boundary… the “AHHHHHH” is the sound of a child learning to accept that boundary, feel their feelings and affirm the feeling of safety of being your child. ⠀
⠀
If you are interested in learning more about HOW to hold loving boundaries during parenting challenges, join me for a limited time FREE Parenting Workshop where you will walk away with some frameworks that you can implement immediately to help you with parenting challenges.⠀
⠀
 

This was the topic of my most recent workshop (which is available for replay through Patreon- You'll see the button below), and has literally helped hundreds of parents have positive transformations in their parenting. 

The before and after steps are actually the most important steps, while when we read parenting books, or find tips/strategies on Instagram, we see most of the focus being on the DURING. 

The before are things like considering your child's developmental age, knowing how regulated they are due to movement, sleep, food, activity, contact (or lack thereof). 

The during is where scripts, language and plans to help our children process their emotions, and learn how to regulate through the presence of a calm co-regulator (US!). 

The after is where we can both model restitution and repair for any mistakes that we might have made, and guide our child to reconnect and repair any mistakes they might have made during the dysregulation.