Last week, we looked at how COVID-19 has changed dating. We explored the different ways singles have had to adapt to meet new people. Check it out to see what our prognosis was for dating as we move forwards.

But COVID-19 hasn’t just affected singletons wanting to date. It’s had a major impact on those in relationships—both new and established couples. Newer couples struggled to overcome distance and the physical separation of lockdown. Cohabiting couples faced the sudden pressure of being around each other 24/7.

Some couples paper over problems in normal situations, but COVID-19 forced them to confront the issue. This either made the stronger, or it broke them up.

So how might these issues continue over the next year or so? What can you do to maintain a smooth relationship through COVID-19 and beyond? Let’s dig into it.

Relationships and COVID-19—A Match Made in Hell?

The pandemic has had a massive impact on every aspect of our lives. Schooling, working, socialising—it’s all different from how things were a year ago. Such upheaval has naturally affected relationships, both social and romantic.

Being forced to spend so much time together has caused problems for a range of reasons. We’re often not used to it, which means couples don’t always know how to behave around each other. The extra stress meant tempers frayed and minor issues became major problems.

The pandemic also created new sources of conflict. Juggling homeschooling with working from home saw many women expected to manage both. Following lockdown restrictions—or breaking them—became a new point of debate. 

Before, couples might have had a break by visiting friends. Now, they found themselves stuck indoors with their partner. Our usual support networks weren't as accessible. You don't fancy moaning about your partner's inability to load the dishwasher on a video chat when he's in the next room.

China even suffered a divorce rate spike. As early as March 2020, marriage registration offices in the city of Xi'an saw a record number of divorce appointments. Being forced into such close quarters pushed underlying conflict to the surface. Officials were quick to say that some couples changed their minds about divorce. But the sheer number of appointments says a lot.

Does Science Agree?

A study published in early November 2020 explored the impact of COVID-19 on intimate relationships. Overall, it found that relationship satisfaction increased for those couples who functioned well. Satisfaction decreased for couples who didn't function as well. Other research showed couples with a lot of COVID-19 conflict had a decrease in intimacy.

This is the key to exploring these issues. Couples who weren’t well-matched or didn’t have tools to manage conflict struggled to handle new stress. Without the pandemic, they might never have had to face anything like this. Let’s be honest, we’re never taught how to manage conflict—only how to mask how we feel about it.

But that wasn’t the case for all couples. The study linked above proves that some couples were able to deepen their bond. The opportunity to spend more time together became an unexpected bonus. They’ve come out of the pandemic as a stronger unit because they’ve focused on quality time and talking more. The greater emphasis on mental health helped people to open up about their problems.

For these couples, they recognised the conflict and overcame it together. They supported each other, which was important when their usual networks were cut off.

What Can We Do To Weather The Pandemic?

Self-care has become more important than ever. It’s more than a buzzword on a flashy Instagram graphic. It’s fundamental to how you show up for yourself and others.

Find ways to have time to yourself. Read a book or watch a movie while your partner is at their Zoom pub quiz. Instead of going for walks together, go out separately and use this as a bonding exercise. Follow a different route, and then tell each other what you saw when you get back.

It’s also important to spend time together as a couple. Make Date Night a regular thing. Order fancy takeout and pretend you’re in a swish restaurant. No phones allowed! Or have a regular movie night with plenty of snacks and cuddling on the sofa.

Establish rules about dealing with conflict. Have regular chats where you talk about the relationship. Choose what’s working well first, and tell each other what you appreciate about each other. Pick three things per chat. Talk about what the other does for you that you love. When you need to raise anything that causes problems, don’t turn it into accusations or a slanging match. State how their actions make you feel, and what you’d rather your partner did instead. 

It’s worth exploring what any conflict is about. Is your partner really that angry that you forgot to put tomatoes on the shopping list? Or are they stressed out with working from home and balancing a difficult workload? Get to the root cause of what your partner (or you) is actually angry or upset about and deal with the conflict there. That will nip many problems in the bud because they’re not actually about your relationship. Instead, your relationship just becomes the container for other completely unrelated issues.

Build Connection, Not Conflict

Remember the pandemic isn’t forever (even though it might feel like it is). COVID-19 could help you to build a strong partnership that can weather any storm. The key is to deal with conflict early, work on problems together, and support each other.

Your secret weapon for managing that is to build a strong connection (along with the other C’s). Without that sense of connection, you’re basically two people who sleep in the same bed. We think you deserve better than that.

In fact, we’ve created a webinar to teach you exactly why connection matters and how to have a loving relationship that lasts! 

Click the button below now to reserve your spot.