''I'm doing the best I can'' 

If we can remember that our kids are ALWAYS giving us whatever they are capable of, we can reframe their misbehaviours, refusals and defiance as them saying "help!"
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One day this winter we were out skiing as a family. While my husband is an incredible skier, I'm newer to it (growing up on the ocean, not the mountains), and that means a few things. 

1. I'm on a learning journey which means I'll make some more mistakes 

2. I'm not as comfortable skiing with the kids.

 I was skiing with my eldest and I was just “on” her. I was correcting her "eyes up!" and directing her "turn across the hill" and when we were about to get on the chairlift my tension increased (one of the hardest parts of skiing to me is the chairlift!) and I told her to be mindful, know where her skis were, hold my hand tighter-ALL. OF. THE. THINGS and she said to me,⠀
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👧 “I’m always doing the best I can mom.” ⠀
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Our children can be our teachers. They can remind us, redirect us, bring to the surface what we've been fearful to look at, and help us. I realized this was all my stuff. She WAS doing the best she could, and her best was amazing and for sure good enough to have a lovely mom and daughter ski day. 

This from my daughter made me think of a parent-child interaction on the ski hill that was similar. The parent wanted their child to get out of a hole in the snow and get moving down the hill, and the child genuinely looked like they were giving it their best effort. 
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Let’s take both perspectives here: ⠀

👨 The parent might have wanted to have a fun day, and have a chance to have some parent-child time. They wanted to make memories, maybe they only got to ski a couple times a year, and this was the last day. There is a story here for the parent, and we can empathize with their frustration, because we've all been there! 
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👧 The child was overwhelmed. This was the second crash we’d witnessed, they were small and it was a big powder day (aka deep snow) which just takes more energy. They also likely wanted to have a fun day and may have been excited to make memories. When their parent said: “get up, let’s go!” They responded with: “You don’t know what it’s like to be me. I’m stuck and doing the best I can!”⠀

From the mouths of babes, this reminder CAN help us in parenting. It helps us remember them as whole (albeit little) people who just like we are doing everything we can to stay patient and calm in those moments, they are doing everything they have access to in those moments too. ⠀