What's Really Keeping You From Feeling Ready to Start a Family?

How to identify the underlying blocks, heal wounds, and let go of resistance — so you can start planning with excitement.

Tell me if this feels familiar: 

• You always said you wanted to have a kid more than anything...but now for some reason, you feel hesitant. 
   

• You can hear your biological clock ticking...but instead of anticipation, you feel resistance and anxiety, and you don't know why. 
   

• Some part of you knows you want the time to have babies be right now...but your feelings haven't caught up with your knowing, and it's frustrating and confusing.
   

• Your life is full, fun, and busy, your business game is stellar, and part of you wishes you could wait 15 more years to have a baby...but you know that's not an option. 

If this is where you're at — you're not alone. I get you.

When you're smart, ambitious, successful, and you've worked hard to build a business you're proud of, it's completely normal to have tons of feelings come up when you start to think about having a baby. 

If those unresolved feelings are causing you to second-guess your desire to have children, it might be time to take a deeper look. 

Here are 10 things you can do to get your brain, body, and feelings aligned with having a baby. 
 

1. Clarify everything you want to do, see, and experience before having a baby. Two powerful things happen when you get it all out on paper.
   
   First, you realize that having a baby won't keep you from doing most of the things you have in mind.
   
   Second, it will help you clearly identify the truly non-negotiable bucket-list items that are important for you to experience before you are pregnant or have a baby to take care of — and you can get to work making those things happen. So write 'em all down! 
    
2. Be extra kind to your nervous system. Your nervous system needs to be calm in order for your natural subconscious to feel safe and ready to add kids to your life. So ask yourself honestly: what needs to shift so you can get the rest, healing, and care you need? Adjust your business, schedule, and demands to prioritize peace and ease. 
    
3. Clarify what peace and support would look like in your ideal world when you do have babies. What would help you get sufficient rest? What would keep you connected to relationships and activities that matter most to you? What parts of you are you afraid of losing? You can't predict everything, but you can set up a plan that allows you to still have a strong sense of self and meaningful connection, even when children and babies are in the picture.  
    
4. Get honest about your current definition of freedom. Women often fear that having children will rob them of their freedom — especially if "freedom" means certain things to them that they haven't looked closely at. Are there multiple ways to feel and experience freedom? Are you open to being surprised? How can freedom include children and add to having a life of fulfillment? 
    
5. Trust that you will know when you are ready — and that it's your job to work through the blocks that may be holding you back from feeling ready. Verbally talk about all concerns out loud with someone who is well-trained at holding space and allows you to process your concerns. Work with a therapist to help pull out all objections. When the unknown or subconcious fears are named out loud, often these blockages somehow get lighter and leave the body, making space for readiness. 
    
6. Address your motherhood wound. This is a big one, but I recommend working with a highly recommended therapist to heal the wounds that might be lingering from childhood — with your experience of your mother or parent, or with the way you were raised.  
   
   Even if you think you are fine, have forgiven, and have nothing major to address, this is still something worth addressing. There may be stuff stuck in your subconscious that is causing you to feel unprepared, inadequate, or fearful of becoming a mother. The wound may be telling your subconscious that you are not ready — and facing that pain might open up new realms of courage, growth, and self-compassion that clears the way for you to feel ready.
    
7. Make compassionate room for everything. Yes, everything. Becoming a mother is a huge decision. It's 100% normal for it to bring up a million emotions. When we're feeling really uncomfortable or even troubling things, our instinct is sometimes to push them away, deny them, or try to overcome them. But paradoxically, it's acceptance that paves the way for transformation. The more you allow the real feelings to surface, the more choice you have, and the less those hidden emotions will be running the show and feeding your resistance to moving forward.     
    
8.  Clarify the length of your maternity leave that you think Future-You would need. Knowing that you'll be able to take care of yourself, your baby, and your business will allow you to have a sense of stability and comfort in an area that can bring stress. Once you are pregnant, then it's time to put a strong plan in place based on your business needs at the time. I can help you with that once the time has arrived.  
    
9. Try to visualize having a little one with you at different points throughout the day. Just thinking about it will help normalize the future reality. It will also help highlight specific areas that bring stress, overwhelm, or panic at the idea of having a baby — and while that can be uncomfortable in the moment, it is fantastic information to have and actually positions you to be able to do something about those fears. Write down the areas that trigger you or bring up big feelings, as these are the perfect areas to address with a therapist. 
    
10. Think about how you'd like your life and business to feel like in an ideal world. What would you like to balance between running a business and being a mother? Get clarity on this vision so that you are choosing to create the right future for you. In the MatLeave Method, we work on making sure this vision is included in the strategy we put in place for your maternity leave.  

If you start here with these ten things, you'll be amazed at how much lighter you'll feel.

And in the meantime...how else can we support you? Are there other topics would you like feedback on? Have questions you'd love some answers to? Send your questions here: Support@SpaciousMamas.com

PS - In a slightly different phase of the journey? We have lots of other useful information to share. Here are some other resources that might be of service to you:

• Currently trying to get pregnant? Learn more about why maternity leave for entrepreneurs is different, and what you need to think about when it comes to planning a successful mat leave. 

          What You Need To Know

• Pregnant? Download our Planning Guide so that you can get clear on what you and your biz need for a nourishing, supported, and stress-free mat leave. 
  
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• Interested in getting help with crafting the right maternity leave for you and your business? 

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