Have you ever asked yourself, Will my child ever come back to me? This question can consume your thoughts, leaving your heart broken and your mind clouded with uncertainty. Estrangement from an adult child is one of the most painful experiences a mother can face. Yet, finding peace during this process doesn’t have to depend on their return. Let’s explore three ways you can care for yourself even when the future feels uncertain.

1. Acknowledge the Pain

It’s essential to be honest about the depth of your pain. Accepting that your adult child might not come back feels unbearable, and it’s okay to sit with that feeling. Grief manifests in many ways—whether through sadness, anger, guilt, or a mix of emotions. This cycle of grief is normal and something you may experience repeatedly.

Think about how you would comfort a dear friend going through a similar situation. You’d likely tell her it’s okay to cry, to feel upset, and to mourn the time lost. Offer yourself that same grace. Healing doesn’t require you to have it all together. Trust that God sees every tear you shed and will place the right people in your life to support you during this journey.

2. Let Go of What You Can’t Control

As mothers, we instinctively want to fix everything for our children. It’s an act of love, but the hard truth is that you can’t control their choices or the timing of their readiness to reconnect. Letting go doesn’t mean giving up hope; it means releasing the constant need to figure everything out.

Consider scheduling “worry time.” Allow yourself a set period to process your emotions, but then commit to moving forward. Imagine trying to control the weather—you can’t stop the rain, but you can grab an umbrella and take care of yourself during the storm. This period of estrangement might feel like the biggest storm of your life, but you can navigate it by showing kindness to yourself.

If you’re ready to take the courageous step of prioritizing your well-being, consider seeking support. A discovery call might be the lifeline you need to explore your healing journey and determine if coaching is the right fit for you.

3. Focus on Healing Yourself

Shifting your focus from your child to yourself is one of the hardest but most necessary steps. Your healing does not depend on their actions; it’s something you can start today. During my own journey, I realized that I couldn’t pour from an empty cup. While my daughter was navigating her own path, I needed to work on myself to be ready for whatever the future held.

Self-care is crucial. It might look like taking a walk, spending time in prayer, or simply allowing yourself moments of quiet. Plug yourself back into your life. Many moms in this situation unplug from everything and isolate themselves, but this only deepens the pain. When you begin to care for yourself physically, you’ll notice emotional healing as well. Slowly but surely, the pieces of your life will start coming together.

Remember, staying in the pit of despair and doing nothing will not serve you. Start small, but start today. Focus on your healing, and you’ll find strength and peace even in the midst of uncertainty.

You are not alone in this. You are courageous, and your healing is worth every effort. God bless you.