Are you feeling overwhelmed by constant arguments with your adult child? You’re not alone, and the cycle of conflict can feel never-ending. But, here's the truth: the only way to find peace might be for you to take the first step. It's hard, but with the right approach, you can start to heal your relationship and yourself. Today, I want to share five tips to help you begin resolving conflicts with your adult child, so let’s dive in.

1. Letting Go of Control

As moms, we often hold onto the idea that we should still have a say in our children’s decisions. After all, we spent years guiding them, right? But when your child becomes an adult, holding onto that sense of control can lead to tension. Letting go doesn’t mean you’re giving up on them. It means releasing the pressure you place on both of you. This shift will be a game-changer in your relationship. If you find yourself constantly frustrated by their choices, maybe this is where you need to start. Ask yourself, what control am I trying to hold onto, and is it worth the strain it’s causing?

2. Finding Ways to Resolve Conflict

Resolving conflict with your adult child can feel impossible, especially when they’re unwilling to meet you halfway. But the key here is focusing on what you can do. How can you help navigate the resolution? Maybe it’s finding a middle ground, agreeing to disagree, or compromising on certain issues. I’m not asking you to change your values, but consider what you're willing to adjust for the sake of your relationship. What are you holding onto that might be keeping you both stuck in the conflict?

3. Offering Apologies When Necessary

As moms, it can be difficult to admit when we’ve unintentionally hurt our children. But sometimes, offering a sincere apology can open the door to healing. You don’t have to apologize for everything or take blame where it isn’t yours, but acknowledging their feelings—whether from childhood or recent events—can be powerful. Saying, “I’m sorry that hurt you,” is a step toward rebuilding trust. It’s okay to admit you’re human and to show your child that you're willing to mend the emotional wounds from the past.

4. Seeking Help and Building a Support System

No mom should feel like she’s going through this journey alone. Whether you’re navigating estrangement, attempting reconciliation, or just trying to figure out your next steps, having a support system is crucial. It might be joining a group of moms in a similar situation, seeking guidance from a coach, or even talking to a therapist. If you're feeling stuck, there’s no shame in asking for help. You deserve to have someone in your corner, offering the lifeline you need as you work through this.

5. Trusting the Process and Having Patience

I know it’s hard to hear, but healing takes time. Sometimes it feels like the pain and distance will never end. I’ve been there myself, thinking, “This can’t possibly take that long,” and yet, the journey has stretched on. Patience is key. Have faith that things can change, but remember that it won’t happen overnight. It may take months, years, or longer—but trust that you're on the right path. Focus on what you can control: your healing, your growth, and your well-being.

Lastly, I want to remind you that you are more than just a mom. Your identity isn’t tied solely to your role as a parent. If you're estranged and don't have contact with your child right now, it’s even more important to take care of yourself. Use this time to rediscover who you are outside of motherhood. You are strong, valuable, and capable of moving forward, regardless of what your child chooses to do.

If you need support, I'm here to help guide you through this journey. Whether you're struggling with the emotional weight of estrangement or just need someone to talk to, don’t hesitate to reach out. Remember, this is your journey too, and you deserve peace and happiness.

Stay strong, stay patient, and never stop believing in the possibility of healing.