I feel as though I must start with the experience of caring for and watching someone you adore at the end of their life.  It is bittersweet for many of us.  It’s as precious as giving birth, yet there is little joy in what comes after the loss.  My Dad was a great father.  He had a sense of humor that could quickly reach a person's nerves.  As he declined, his sense of humor rarely waned.  Sometimes he would break out into a song, he would flirt with the nurses and once he joked about his missing pants with enough detail that shouldn’t be shared in this blog.  He made me laugh, cry and he even made me angry.  

I knew what was happening in his last week of life.  I knew because I’m someone that prepares.  I want to experience every second of it, even if it’s painful.  There can be so much joy in our lives when we decide that we are going to be 100% engaged in loving another person.  If it brings on more sorrow, at least the joy of loving was equally intense as the grief we feel.  

Remember, I’m a preparer…. So when he passed, I looked up the 5 stages of grief.  I wanted to be sure that I understood my emotions through the process.  I wanted to be prepared to forgive myself when I became confused, angry or wondered what I could have done differently to prolong his life.  I wanted to give myself the gift of compassion and understanding.  

• Loss of my Mother

• Loss of experiencing a divorce

• Loss of a great job

• Loss of my children leaving home

• Loss of the dreams I had

• Loss of health

• Loss of Pets

• Loss of youth

• Loss of relationships that were important to me

• Loss of my Dad

• Loss of losing my childhood home