Help! My baby is awake for hours in the night, what can I do about it?
We’ve all been there right?...
Our child wakes in the night and instead of quickly drifting back off they’re wide awake wanting to play for hours… or worse still, they’re wide awake screaming for hours!
This is what’s often referred to as a ‘split night’.
I remember it well and I’ve definitely been in the position where I’ve started trying every trick in the book to get my little one back to sleep so I can just get a few more hours of shut-eye myself. It’s extremely frustrating and in that moment it feels like you may as well give up and just stay up for the rest of the night!
But all hope is not lost!... Split nights CAN be resolved!
So, what causes a split night and what can we do about it?
The most common reason for a split night is that the balance of day and night sleep is a little ‘off’. If your child is having more daytime sleep than they actually need, or their naps are not well-balanced throughout the day then this can cause them to be more wakeful at night. This can end in a viscous cycle because they then want to make up for the lost night sleep during the day and the whole problem continues.
Now it’s important to note that this doesn’t apply to very young babies whose body clocks have not yet developed their circadian rhythm and do not recognise the difference between day and night. When they are very young babies need a lot of daytime sleep to feel rested and to ensure they don’t become overtired. If you’re not sure what your child’s sleep needs are then download my free eBook and check out the Baby Sleep Needs Chart at the back.
Other reasons for split nights include:
- Going to bed too early – if your baby seemed tired or perhaps missed a nap you may need to put them to bed early, however sometimes this can cause them to wake in the early hours and because they’ve had a long block of sleep already. They just don’t feel tired enough to drift back off.
- You child can’t resettle independently – while some babies will have a long, restful sleep even if they are assisted to sleep by a parent, most who have been rocked, fed or cuddled to sleep will expect that each time they wake. The problem is that during the night there is less sleep pressure built up than at the start of the night so even with your help, it may be very difficult for your little one to get back to sleep. Practicing self-settling can really help with this! If you’d like a very gradual, gentle ‘no cry’ settling method then be sure to check out my online course ‘Gently Transitioning to Independent Sleep’.
- Being ready to drop a nap – sometimes split nights can be a clue that your little one is ready to drop a nap. If this is the case then one the nap is dropped, so long as your child is still getting adequate day sleep, nights should start to improve.
- A developmental phase – when babies are learning new skills it’s true that their sleep can be affected. This is particularly true when there is a leap in physical development such as rolling, walking or crawling. Babies get excited by their newfound freedom and, unfortunately for us, they want to practice their skills at night. If this is the case for your little one then I can reassure you that if you remain consistent, this phase will pass. Make sure they have lots of opportunities to play during the day and master those new skills! If you are experiencing this and your baby is between 8-10 months old then check out this blog post for further information.
- Parental inconsistencies – often parents (me included) jump straight in and try to get their child back to sleep in any way possible as soon as they wake up, however this can actually be detrimental and by doing so we can end up interrupting the settling process and actually waking our children up and over-stimulating them! If your baby is awake but happy in their sleep space my biggest piece of advice would be to leave them to it! Far too often we rush in even when they aren’t calling for us. If you’re little one does get upset then by all means go in and comfort them but ensure that you are consistent with your response each time. Try to avoid taking them out of the room or playing with them as this can reinforce the wake up!
Want further support with your child’s sleep?
Sometimes it takes an expert eye to figure out what’s going on with your child’s sleep and that’s what I’m here for.
If you want to put an end to the split nights, or any other sleep issue, once and for all then let’s book in a free Discovery Call. You can tell me about it, I’ll assess what’s going, find the root cause and we can work out the best option for both you and your little one.
Let’s get you on the path to better sleep!
Speak soon
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