You've read some articles. Listened to some podcasts. Spoken to your friend who always knows about these things. And you've finally realised the truth about your partner.

It's not you, it's them. And they're a narcissist.

Whether you've just started dating or you've been together a while, the realisation is no less daunting. Though it can often come as a relief. You aren't going crazy and you aren't a terrible person! 

But now what? How do you get a narcissist to leave you alone?

You can't persuade them to be a better person. No one can love narcissism out of a person.

And it's not always as easy as walking away. Narcissists can start 'hoovering' to bring you back. This can look a lot like love bombing. They’ll claim they realised how they’ve hurt you, but you’re meant to be! You can’t leave! 

It's all lies, designed only to bring you back under their control so they can start their abuse again.

No, the only way to move on and start the healing process is to get a narcissist to leave you alone.

So how can you do that?

Go "No Contact"

This can be hard if you share children or a business with the narcissist. But it is essential that you do it.

It’s also very difficult to do No Contact because of the narcissist’s nature. They may opt for sneaky, underhand tactics to get your attention. They might ask to borrow your car (especially if you bought it together). Or they might stalk you on social media to find out where you'll be. Then they can pop up and knock you off balance again.

If a narcissist feels they're getting a rise out of you, then this makes them feel important. That ego boost is precisely what they feed off. They'll keep provoking you just to get a hit of attention

But by removing all of your time, energy and attention, the narcissist gets nothing further from you. It leaves them with no choice but to walk away and find someone else.

And yes, 'No Contact' means on both sides. That means no checking up on them yourself to see what they’re doing or saying online. Stop spending brain power on them. 

Block Them On Social Media

One of the narcissist's favourite games is triangulation. They'll suddenly pick up a brand new partner and parade them all over social media.

The aim is to look as happy and as 'in love' as possible. Not for the benefit of the new partner, but to get back at you. The narcissist wants you to feel like you've missed your chance at happiness because they've moved on.

Sometimes they do this to try to reel you back in. Other times, it’s their way of trying to show they’re ‘better’ because they have a new partner and you’re alone.

You've literally missed nothing by walking away. But by seeing this rubbish, you risk feeling like you have. If you block them on social media, you can't see what they're saying. This makes it easier to get away from them.

Be Emotionless

There may be times when you run into the narcissist. This could be if you share children, etc. Or it could be because they’re still tracking you down so they can show up where you are.

They do this because they know it'll get a reaction.

Your job if they do this is to be as emotionless as possible. Pretend they’re invisible if you can. If you need to speak to them, be neutral and preferably blank.

Even if the narcissist still gets under your skin, pretend they don’t. Be like the rock - steady, unyielding, and un-reactive.

I have friends in common with a narcissist former friend. Thankfully, I haven't had cause to be in the same room as her for two years. Last time I saw her, I treated her as I would a chair or table. I politely stepped around her and carried on with my life. She didn’t even acknowledge me. Win!

It might sound rude, but you do not owe the narcissist anything. And this is not a time to worry about manners. By not acknowledging the narcissist, you show them they mean nothing to you. If they can't prompt a reaction, they move on.

Start The Healing Process

This may seem like a strange way to get a narcissist to back off. But think about it. They rely on you believing their version of reality. The moment you stand up and start asserting your own, they lose power over you.

Turning inwards can terrify you if a narcissist has hooked you in. You’ll doubt your own judgment and even distrust your intuition. Looking at your internal landscape is the last thing you want to do.

This may also be a hard step if the narcissist has isolated you from friends and family. Without a support network, you may feel the narcissist was right all along. You were lucky to have them. Maybe you are nothing without them.

WRONG.

I cannot stress that enough. That is WRONG.

But if you're feeling like this, then consider working with a supportive coach who understands the pain of narcissistic abuse. They can help you undo the damage caused by the narcissist. You can work towards rebuilding your trust in yourself and your ability to make decisions.

Plus, when you place your focus on healing yourself, you're no longer available to pander to the narcissist. They'll soon leave, looking for someone else to make them feel like the most important person in the room. 

Get A Narcissist To Leave You Alone

You might worry you’ll encounter another narcissist. And if you’ve never met one yet, having read this, you probably want to know how to avoid them.

Luckily, it’s a skill you can learn. Even better, you can also disarm them once you’ve spotted them.

Sign up for our Identifying and Disarming Narcissists program to learn how to do this. You’ll learn groundbreaking techniques to spot narcissists and turn them away - for good. 

It’s not just a training program, it’s a toolkit for finding peace of mind and freedom from dark personalities. You can be narcissist-repellant by 2021!