MOTIVATION :
A reason or reasons for acting or behaving in a particular way.

 

I’m hot on the topic right now of a phenomenon called The Knowing Doing Gap.

The Knowing Doing Gap is the gap that exists between knowing what to do and doing it.

 

This gap is a big problem because it prevents us from achieving the things we want to achieve and feeling the way we want to feel.

 

[This idea is front of mind for me because I’m working on Peptalk Beyond - the online membership hub that’s focused on giving you resources that will help you close your Knowing Doing Gap, so you can do the things you know are good for you.]

When I think about closing my Knowing Doing Gap, the word that comes to mind is motivation.

 

When it comes to motivation, what most people do is they go to a battle with their mind.

 

They get stuck in a war of the voices in their head, arguing back and forward with each other.

 

This is a trap I sometimes fall into too, but less often since I’ve wised up to it. 

 

Going into battle with your mind is not a good approach because 

 

• It’s a time waster
• It’s exhausting
• Too often, the wrong voice wins. 

 

A better approach is to think of motivation in terms of simple physics.

 

Physics tells us that when we apply different forces to something, the strongest force will win. 

 

Think of your motivation like a game of tug of war. 

At one end of the rope are all the forces pulling you towards not doing the thing.

 

On the other end are all the forces pulling you towards doing the thing.

 

So, what are these forces?

 

The forces of motivation are pain and pleasure. 

 

More specifically - 

 

Avoiding pain,
And receiving pleasure.

 

These two opposing forces determine every action you take or don't take.

 

Motivation is physics - the strongest force will win. 

 

OK, it’s a little more nuanced than that, because you also have instant gratification and delayed gratification at play. 

Instant gratification is the pain you’ll avoid or the pleasure you’ll receive now.

 

Delayed gratification is the pain you’ll avoid or the pleasure you’ll receive later.

 

For context, let’s use an example.

 

But remember, you can apply this concept to absolutely anything and everything.

 

Imagine the “good for you thing” you want to do is to get up an hour earlier each day and exercise.

 

Here’s an example of the forces of pain and pleasure that could be in the mix.

 

Visualise the tug of war rope.

 

At the left end of the tug of war robe is INSTANT GRATIFICATION.

 

At this end, you might have the pain of pulling back the covers, perhaps it’s cold and dark out. There’s definitely pain involved in climbing out of your warm, cozy bed. Avoiding that pain now is a force pulling the rope in that direction. [AVOID PAIN NOW].

 

You also have the pleasure you’re receiving now from feeling all comfy, snug, and warm. [RECEIVE PLEASURE NOW].

 

At the right end of the rope is DELAYED GRATIFICATION.

 

Pulling on this end you could have the pain that will come from having a body that’s not fit and healthy. The many mental and physical ailments you know come with not being active. Obviously, you want to avoid the pain of these things happening to you at some point in the future [AVOID PAIN LATER].

 

You also have the pleasure later you’ll receive if you do exercise - the many rewards of having plenty of energy and a healthy, able body [RECEIVE PLEASURE LATER].

 

The motivation to do the things we know are good for us almost always involves delayed gratification.

 

Usually the pain we’ll avoid or the pleasure we’ll receive from doing these things isn’t instant. We will receive it at some point in the short or long term future. 

 

To be motivated to do the things that are good for you (in other words - close your knowing doing gap), you want the forces on the right side of the tug of war rope (delayed gratification) to win. 

 

An interesting point about these forces is this.

 

When you compare the two groups of forces - pain/pleasure now Vs pain/pleasure later, the NOW pains and rewards are minuscule compared with the pain and rewards you'll experience later. 

 

For example - the pain of getting out of your cozy bed is a lot less painful than the pains of having an unfit, unhealthy body. 

 

So why do the now forces so often win the tug of war?

 

Why do we so often give in to instant gratification?

 

The reason the now pain often wins is that it’s your reality NOW. You’re actually experiencing it in-this-very-moment. Even though it’s a smaller pain than the potential pain you’ll receive later, it’s a stronger force because it’s more real.

 

The trick is, you need to make the delayed gratification pains and pleasures more real in-the-moment. 

 

You need to bring them front and centre into your mind and build up the power of their force. 

 

You do this by -

thinking about them

contemplating them

visualizing them

and writing them down. 

 

If you want to win your motivation tug of war, then you need to spend time strengthening the forces pulling on the delayed gratification end of the rope.

 

<EXERCISE> STRENGTHEN THE RIGHT TEAM 

Take a piece of paper or your journal.

 

Write at the top of the page the “good for you thing” you want to do consistently. 

 

It could be -

 

Exercise related

Eating more healthfully

Learning a new skill

Practicing mindfulness, meditation, gratitude 

Not reacting angrily

Studying

Keeping your office tidy

 

It could be anything that’s going to contribute towards you feeling good, functioning well, or achieving a specific goal. 

 

Underneath, divide the page into two vertical columns.

 

Head up the left column “PAIN” . 

List all the potential pains you’ll experience at some point in the short or long term if you don’t do the thing.

 

You want to make these "pains" REAL, because the desire to avoid them will add force to the delayed gratification end of your tug of war rope. 

 

Head up the right column “PLEASURE”.
List all the potential pleasures or rewards you’ll experience at some point in the short or long term future if you do the thing.

 

The thought of experiencing these "pleasures" will also add force to the delayed gratification end of the tug of war rope. 

 

Revisit this list daily.
Add to it.
Read over it.
Spend time contemplating and visualising the reality of the pains and pleasures you’ve written down.

 

Your job is to keep these forces front and centre of your mind.

You’re not actually experiencing them now, so you need to put effort into keeping the reality of them vivid in your day-to-day life.

 

That’s how you build their power.

 

You make these forces strong by making them REAL. 

 

Delayed gratification rewards must feel as real as the forces of instant gratification, so their strength will allow you to win your motivation tug of war, close your knowing doing gap, and do the dam thing you need to do to feel and be your best!

 

In conclusion:

 

• If you lack motivation to do the things you know are good for you, don't go to battle with your mind. 
• Play a game of motivation tug of war.
• But first, train a strong team at the delayed gratification end of the rope.
• Strengthen this end of the rope by making the pain and pleasure later forces real and vivid NOW.
• With a strong team on the right end, winning the motivation tug of war will be easy!

For bonus points, enjoy the game, have fun with it!

 

Catch you next week,

Nadine xx