Five Reasons Why People Stop Listening To You
February 1, 2023 | BY DR. ROBERT PORTNOY
Are you sure people are listening to you?
We may think our audiences are paying attention....or we may be so wrapped in what we are saying (or, ahem…staring at our Powerpoint screen) that we may not be receiving the verbal AND non-verbal feedback our audience is giving us.
If your audience members are looking off in the distance or to the side, checking their phones, etc., you have likely lost their attention.
Average humans have roughly an 8-second attention span; slightly worse than that of a goldfish, believe it or not. As a presenter, it's your job to get and keep your audience's attention.
Think of attention like a window shade; as soon as someone starts paying attention, the shade is open. But distraction is inevitable. As the presenter, you have 8 seconds before that shade closes and they're completely tuned out to what you have to say.
Here are five reasons people stop listening.
Reason #1: You are long winded, talk too much about yourself, or are speaking "techno-babble"
When we prepare a presentation, we arrange it in a way that makes sense to us. Professionals are highly trained in their topic, and therefore create presentations that contain what they see as all relevant information.
But your audience doesn't always have the same background as you. What seems simple and like second nature to you might be like trying to understand ancient Latin for them -- overwhelming and confusing.
This gets compounded when you use verbiage that they aren't familiar with.
Solution: Think about your audience first.
If you're an engineer presenting to a room full of executives who don't know the first thing about engineering, think about how they will receive what you have to say; will it confuse them? Will they understand the jargon you use?
Remember...your job is to keep that attention window shade up. Long, rambling stories or over-explained points tend to keep it closed.
Think of attention like a window shade; as soon as someone starts paying attention, that shade is open. But, distraction is inevitable.
Reason #2: You fail to get to the point or the point you make is not compelling.
The human mind looks for strong, clear explanations. The more you meander around a topic or dilute your message by overexplaining a point...the less your audience will grasp what you are trying to say (let alone remember it).
Make clear and concise points. Reinforce them. Make it obvious what you're trying to say, and understand ahead of time whether that point is going to hold meaning for your listener.
Reason #3: You talk in a monotone voice.
"Variety is the spice of life."
This isn't just limited to pizza toppings or vacation destinations. Vocal variety -- loudness, tone and modulated timing (pauses, speaking faster or slower) helps raise the window shade and keep your listener's attention.
Reason #4: You use way too many filler words like "uh" and "y'know".
Think of "filler words" as stones or tree branches on a path. If you're trying to walk straight to your destination, but keep having to dodge and jump over obstacles, it takes longer to get where you're going.
As a listener, every "uh", "um" or "like" is a tree branch that obstructs the path, and thereby distracts your listener from what you want them to hear and remember.
There's no easy fix to breaking the filler word habit -- it's typically ingrained in the way we're used to speaking. But with practice, you can learn how to speak without those words, thereby holding attention longer.
Reason #5: You look and sound nervous instead of poised and self-confident.
Giving presentations can be intimidating; most people are more afraid of giving presentations than dying.
However, this is another one where practice will help you overcome those nerves. And more importantly, BEING nervous is okay...accidentally projecting that discomfort and anxiety will distract your listeners.
Besides, once you learn what it takes to get and keep attention, those nerves tend to subside anyway.
Conclusion: Understand what keeps attention, and what loses attention during presentations
If you need people to take you seriously, remember what you say, and do what you want them to do, you need to talk in ways that will capture their attention and keep them listening.
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